howibloggedyourmother:

this is the greatest blooper 

(via spicy-vagina-tacos)

If they miss you, they’ll call. If they want you, they’ll say it. If they care, they’ll show it. And if not, they aren’t worth your time.

(via cowsandclouds)

satans-advocate:

sext: i want to pay bills and share household duties and approach our late 20’s in a financially and emotionally stable way with you

(via trollingthetroller)

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

(via foreveralone-lyguy)

gothicgrandpaqueen:

you catch a lot of flies with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly

(via foreveralone-lyguy)